Here it goes again,

It's about that time that I start doing the things that make me.. Me. Creativity has always ran thick through my veins and it's been so long since I've created something with these two hands. Trial and Error, right?

If I am not shown something, I can usually look once or twice and either figure out how it's done or create something similar with my own unique twists. I've been thinking long and hard lately and it's time to make some changes. With spring blowing in it seems to me that now is the perfect time to start rolling out all my old arts and crafts supplies, the sewing machine and maybe even purchasing a few new gadgets and thing-a-ma-bobs. Of course I have plenty of room to self improve not just with my creativity of creating, but also the creativity of living. I'm not sure how to explain what I mean by that, but actions certainly speak louder than words.

First off, I'm composing a list. Odds & Ends, Do's & Don't's, Wish I could, Need to do's. Seems like it's going to be a big mess to sort through. Oh well, that's just me, a Messy mind. Call me Crazy and I'll admit I'm a Genius! I have so many plans and not enough time or energy! Well, Tonight is my night!! I can feel it! The creativity is back and I've got plenty of inspiration to lead me through my next couple of projects. Some of the things I will be making within the next few hours, some of them I will complete in a few days, other's I will be looking into so that I can learn how to's and hopefully complete within the coming weeks! I'm getting so excited, a little too excited for this hour of night but here it comes! I will be posting photos of my complete projects in the coming posts, I really can't wait to share them and I hope you really like what I do! Jesus, I can't stop smiling!!

And it Never Ends!

If it's not one or the other.. it's both. I'm talking about my children. I swear sometimes Boston and Marleigh are already teaming together, against me. I figured this would eventually happen but come on! They are already making me crazy and they don't even realize it! Or do they? Between the two of them I am stretched for time, energy and sanity! There aren't enough hours during the day to get everything I would like to get done.

i.e I still have boxes to unpack, decorations to hang & clothes to be separated and hung in the closets. We need a new mattress for Boston's bed, a new toddler bed at that. I still have yet to go to my mother's house and clean out the old toy box so that Boston's room doesn't look like a tornado blew it's way through it. Marleigh's clothes are half hung but I need a book shelf for all their books, and shelves in general so I can display their fan freaking tastic photos we had taken. Travis and I need to get some boxes out of our room, and I need to go shopping for our personal bathroom since I decided that the guest bathroom needed our nice decorations and shower curtain. I know I am forgetting about a million other things, but honestly everything is coming together quite nicely. All in good time my friends and we will be completely settled into our home. The moment I unpack that last box will be the day that I get to kick my feet up and relax.. NOT! With two kids and a handsome hubby I never get to fully relax! So on edge have I been lately. I am terribly anxious to get everything done and at the same time I want to see my friends and family.

Like today for instance, instead of dedicating the late afternoon to unpacking and getting things in order we got a very surprising (but welcomed!) visit from my good friend Jessica and her handsome little man Kade. Boston was pretty happy to see his lil pal and I was completely ecstatic that she dropped in. It felt so good when she told me "we were going to church but they were locking up, so we thought we'd stop by and visit." completely warming my heart that hey, we live close enough for that to happen. I loved it! Once again so pleased to be home!! So I happily pushed my 'chores' onto tomorrow, today is all we have, why waste time when amazing things are happening? As for tomorrow, I think I just might procrastinate yet another day if it's nice enough for a walk to Grandma Laura's house maybe I can get something done, like that toy box I mentioned earlier!

All I have to say is, Not having enough time to work during the day isn't always a bad thing. Especially when it's because you are filling the day with Great Fun Things!

Demons within

Depression isn't widely or openly talked about. The feeling of tiredness and helplessness can be consuming. Like you're drowning and your outreached fingers, begging for help, are only inches from breaking the surface. It not only effects day to day activities but also the people you love around you. Without seeking help, over time, depression can eventually effect your physical being, causing a person to become physically ill. stemming from any things in a person's life, it's a chemical imbalance that can be set off from any wide range of regions. Affecting one's self confidence and shattering the very image we may hold of ourselves. Too often sufferers become a victim of this disease. I suffer from depression but I refuse to become a victim of it.

My best friend once asked me "Kelli ray, is it okay for others to judge you?" looking at my hands I replied "No." I sounded so small, frail. "Then why is it okay for you to judge yourself?" It clicked. All this time, I was so upset over people judging me on my past and even though it is done and over with and there is no going back to fix anything, still holding it against me. I, myself was still holding onto the judgement. Holding it above my own head. Punishing myself for learning and living. What matters now? What matters is that the person I once was, is no longer the person I am today. Yes, it did shape me into the person I am now, I have learned a great deal from my past mistakes, promising myself and others that I will not make those same mistakes. Growing from a child into a woman.

"I am today what yesterday has made me; Tomorrow I will be changed by today's experiences."
- Author Unknown

People are not forgiving, but I have been forgiven for my sins. I asked the Lord into my heart and I have been washed away of sin. I started on a new path walking beside my Lord to be guided through this life. I live for Him, in hopes that I can be a better person not only for myself, but for my husband, children, family and friends. Every time I speak His name the love and warmth I feel is uplifting and Through Him I am ridding myself of these demons within.

Update!

This has been a very long and exhausting week! I do apologize for my lack of posts so here is my update of everything that has happened this week;

We traveled 741 miles from California to Utah, it was a long trip but we made it in two days having stopped in Mesquite, Nevada for the night. The road trip was fun, we (Travis, my little sister Madi, Boston, Marleigh and myself) played games, listened to music and sang our favorite songs. Stopping frequently to stretch our legs, grab a bite to eat & take potty breaks. Surprisingly Boston and Marleigh did very well on the road and we didn't have one single episode of motion sickness!

Arriving in Ogden, we weren't even in town for five minutes before we were pulled over for speeding. I guess that California Speed Demon in Travis wasn't left in California. Thankfully we got a police officer who was observant enough to notice that Travis was military and we pretty much were let off the hook. Woohoooo! Signing for our lovely  home was a breeze and we started moving all of our belongings in immediately! it only took a couple hours to unpack our entire lives! Boxes stacked in every room, I quickly went to work putting things in their place when a surprise visit from my dearest friend Shaley quickly put my jump back into my step! The sweet heart she is, helped me navigate boxes to their appropriate places and even helped me unpack a lot of our stuff and set things up. Especially our crazy and confusing coffee table and side tables which took us a while because I kept messing them up! Despite our frustration we had a lot of fun spending time together, talking and laughing all the while.

Everything is starting to come together nicely. I still have a lot of things to do before our house becomes a home and I can't wait to put the finishing touches up. It's fairly late right now, but I will press on both blogging and unpacking. Our living room is complete at the moment, but I still have to put some order to our walk in closet (my very first walk in closet!) and boy do I have a lot of clothes! I thought I realized how much clothing I had when I packed it away but seeing the boxes and totes stacked up in the corner has really put it into perspective for me! I have more clothes than Boston, Marleigh and Travis COMBINED! But hey I sure do look dang cute! Travis bought us a new bed set and it is so pretty! I thought he would have a fit if I picked anything girly but he willingly allowed me to purchase a lavender comforter set and beige and dark gray bedding with two very girly accent pillows! He is such a sweet heart and such a guy because apparently, design doesn't mean much to him. I'm glad he handed over the reigns because our house looks amazing already and I'm not even finished putting everything up! Boston's bedroom is of course, filled with toys. His favorites; Blocks, Bro-by, car, stuffed monkey and dinosaur tent all down and within reach. He is one happy little boy. Marleigh's adorable bed set is finally out of the bag and being used, I'm sure she loves it because I sure do! It looks so great on her cherry wood crib I couldn't have picked a better nursery set! I would like to thank Grandma Gaylene and Aunt Cris once again for gifting the beautiful bed set!

I'm so excited, the other day I registered for school and I can't wait to get back into the classroom. I know it's going to be hard but it's also going to be so worth it! This girl is going back to school! Bettering my own life and the life of my children and husband.

Happy to be back in Ogden, the town I love so dearly. What makes it so much better is that I have my beautiful little family by my side. I'm so happy that Travis will be getting a civilian job, meaning no more crazy hours, duty, fire watch or field missions! More time for hugs and kisses, days at the park, walks in the evenings and some good old fashion fun with our many, many friends! What's really great is that Boston has little buddies around here too! A couple of my good friends have children right around Boston's age so now he won't be stuck with me 24/7. Play dates are already in the making! Actually, a lot of big plans are in the making. School, play dates, my birthday, girl's night out, dinner parties with family and friends. Summer will be here soon and so that means even more fun is to be had. BBQ's, trips to the beach etc. etc. I absolutely LOVE being home. I missed the crazy weather, already endured a snow storm and although it irritated me I secretly loved it but you won't hear me admit that out loud. I love waking up each morning to see the majestic mountains. I can't tell you all how much I really love the fact that I am so close to my mother and father, a short drive from all my cousins and just minutes away from all my friends.

I feel as though I am repeating myself at this point a sign that it is time to end this post with... I'm home, I'm here to stay and I'm happier than I've ever been in my life!