Faith;

Noun.
Complete trust or confidence in someone or something.without Proof. 

Rambling a Move

Bags packed, boxes stacked, which box does this go in again? I  know I put that marker here.. I ... Can't... Get this... Stupid... Tape.... to let go.. of my.. freaking... FINGERS!

My sloppy handwriting scrawled along the side of boxes in thick and stinking permanent marker. Blacked out labels from the previous move and extra tape patched up roughed up edges. My Rainbow is light brown card board boxes with forest green bold letters, midnight black permanent marker, shinny tape, bright green "bathroom"- deep red "kitchen"-orange "bedroom"- florescent yellow "living room" labeled taped. It's kind of pretty against my now unclouded, uncluttered, photoless white walls. Which reminds me that I should fill in those nail holes before I forget. Tomorrow. Mental note, no I'll forget, I really have to write that down... Where did I put that marker at again?

 I maneuver around boxes, piles of sweet smelling fresh laundry and I think to myself six more days. Six! Six days (Including today!) Truth be told, along the organized mess and excitement that is scattered all over my apartment and soul.. I'm a wreck. I can't believe I've managed to pack this much on so little sleep, with a smiley, very curious little man (who insists on putting random things into the inappropriate box and taking the right things that are in the right boxes.. out.) and a very demanding recently turned four month old, slobbering Princess. I have more than enough on my mind, but I can't stop adding more thoughts into the pot. Things like,  how on earth am I ever going to pack everything alone? The long drive back to Utah with my mother and younger sister. Will the babies behave? Will we have any car troubles? What if Travis forgets to lock the latch on the truck and all our belongs scatter across the highway? Oh man! That really would suck! How long until I can make our house, a home? What fun adventures await us in Ogden?? Now that is where my mind Really goes crazy.

My heart and mind spiral out of control as millions of memories are conjured up out of the deepest places in my soul. Spring coming to life from the dead of Winter, raining softly into a hot, hot Summer, which eventually melts into a slow death called Fall, only to be met once again with a funeral, Winter. This beautiful cycle holds so many ...

I'll be done soon, all this packing has really worn me out. Hopefully when I close my eyes and nod off to sleep, my subconsciousness will allow me to drift away from reality and not deal with these over powering thoughts and emotions until I wake up. Better yet, I pray that I will be shown the right answers on how to deal with it all. I would like nothing more at this time than to be guided, relieved of all my worries.

Wordless Wednesday

Lasting Love;

I couldn't help myself, my house is still decorated with little hearts, reds, pinks and whites. Why? partially because I am slightly lazy and the other half I just LOVE, Love! I don't want to take them down, I am determined to celebrate Valentine's day for the entire month of February! How am I to accomplish this? Lots of candies, cut out hearts, sugar cookies decorated in red frosting, love letters every day to Travis and a playlist of the gushiest love songs known through time. Call me crazy and I will happily thank you.

Love is in the Air;

Today is the one day where we are encouraged to be brazen and confess our undying love and affection for another being. To wear our heart on our sleeve and speak the words that will melt forever into our lovers soul. Ah, the reds, whites & pinks of Valentines day, the sparkling hearts and googly eyes, romantic candle light dinners and champagne flutes bubbling golden nectar. Valentines cards and candies, sweet chocolate covered strawberries and the deep red roses. Ahh, Love. El Oh Vee Ee. We love our significant other's, even though at times we feel as though they may not be deserving of it, we love our children because they are a part of us, walking, talking (or in Marleigh's case wiggling, cooing) mini me's. We love our family even through times they are crazy and out of line. We love our friends because they are the only ones we can actually choose to have in our lives but most importantly, we ourselves are loved. That is what we have to keep in mind. So if you are one of the unlucky ones who don't have someone to hold onto this Vday don't worry your little heart, because chances are, there are some very deserving somebodies within arms reach for you to love. So grab them quick! before they get picked up and give them a tight squeeze, tell them you love them and make sure they know! Grab some paper & crayons pull out those three lovely love colors, and start doodling hearts around their name. List the things you love about them most. When they see all the reasons why you love them, I'm sure it'll make their heart sing! Happy Valentines Day Everyone, if you are reading this, I just want to tell you now in case I don't get to tell you later, that I Love YOU, with all of my heart, forever and always,
Kelli Ray

After Every Storms Comes a Rainbow.

What goes great on a rainy day? A nice hot & steaming cup of Nostalgia. I'm sitting here in my computer nook with the window open looking out over this very cold and cloudy gray day. Smells of the damp earth and wet cement are something I love and cherish the most about rainy days. I can't help but to compare today's weather to how I feel on the inside; cold, colorless, lack of sunshine. I wanted a better look at how my day would go, time to pull my husband's standard green USMC sweat shirt over my messy hair, walking out my side door and into the chill. I sit on my bar stool, legs crossed hugging them to my chest listening to the rain beat the pavement, forming puddles. It's all so sad and quite depressing. I can't help myself, I close my eyes and let my thoughts travel back home. Weather like this in Ogden I'd be making a hot cup of tea to warm my hands and to sip while I talked to my mama in the safety and comfort of our drive way. Her sweet cigarette aroma like her laugh, would fill the car port before being whisked away by a sudden breeze. Even though the sun was hiding and the wind chilled our bones, we would still smile and laugh together. Utah has a distinct smell that I will never forget, it smells like corn fields and on a rainy day, it is more noticeable than ever. Eyes still closed I take a deep breath and breathe in this cold crisp ocean air, so different from my home and that's when I heard it. A song of encouragement and I was inspired. Even through this heavy down pour the birds were still singing, coaxing the sun out from behind the clouds. If my little feathered friends could sing through the dark days, so can I. I made up my mind. I'll be home soon, and my sunshine will be bright and happy. What I went through was The Storm, exhaling I decided that what comes next, is my Rainbow. I opened my eyes, it's the same view I saw  when I closed my eyes, but it's a different perspective. The whole world is changed and I am excited to get on with things. :) 

Something to Smile about!

So everything was really quiet in the world of Kelli, I was so happy to finally catch a break & relax when suddenly I realized that I hadn't put Boston down for his nap so there is no way that the little guy could be up to ANY good if the house was THIS quiet. I started looking for my little man, terrified that he got a hold of my pack of markers and snuck off to his room. Horrifying images of permanent markers coloring viciously all over my White walls and soft beige reading couch. I crept slowly awaiting what seemed to be a certain doom. "Huh.. he's not in his room. Oh lord! he's in MY room!" I thought to myself how horrible it is going to be to have to try to explain to my husband that Boston destroyed our bedroom, or worse.. our white sheets!! Flinging open the door & frantically searching my room I realized that Boston was still no where to be found. Then I heard a delightful giggle.. it was coming from .... The Bathroom. Scared of what I might find. Lotion sprayed on the walls..? Toilet paper decorating the floor? Or Shampoo covering every surface? I hesitated before I opened the door, ready to wince at the massive destruction that I just knew was behind it. Slowly and quietly I pushed forward. Low and behold there was my munchikin... Brushing his Teeth!!! not a single mess to be found! Smiling I asked him what he was doing, and all I got in return was a cheesy grin. Did I mention that it was a very Clean cheesy grin?