Bags packed, boxes stacked, which box does this go in again? I know I put that marker here.. I ... Can't... Get this... Stupid... Tape.... to let go.. of my.. freaking... FINGERS!
My sloppy handwriting scrawled along the side of boxes in thick and stinking permanent marker. Blacked out labels from the previous move and extra tape patched up roughed up edges. My Rainbow is light brown card board boxes with forest green bold letters, midnight black permanent marker, shinny tape, bright green "bathroom"- deep red "kitchen"-orange "bedroom"- florescent yellow "living room" labeled taped. It's kind of pretty against my now unclouded, uncluttered, photoless white walls. Which reminds me that I should fill in those nail holes before I forget. Tomorrow. Mental note, no I'll forget, I really have to write that down... Where did I put that marker at again?
I maneuver around boxes, piles of sweet smelling fresh laundry and I think to myself six more days. Six! Six days (Including today!) Truth be told, along the organized mess and excitement that is scattered all over my apartment and soul.. I'm a wreck. I can't believe I've managed to pack this much on so little sleep, with a smiley, very curious little man (who insists on putting random things into the inappropriate box and taking the right things that are in the right boxes.. out.) and a very demanding recently turned four month old, slobbering Princess. I have more than enough on my mind, but I can't stop adding more thoughts into the pot. Things like, how on earth am I ever going to pack everything alone? The long drive back to Utah with my mother and younger sister. Will the babies behave? Will we have any car troubles? What if Travis forgets to lock the latch on the truck and all our belongs scatter across the highway? Oh man! That really would suck! How long until I can make our house, a home? What fun adventures await us in Ogden?? Now that is where my mind Really goes crazy.
My heart and mind spiral out of control as millions of memories are conjured up out of the deepest places in my soul. Spring coming to life from the dead of Winter, raining softly into a hot, hot Summer, which eventually melts into a slow death called Fall, only to be met once again with a funeral, Winter. This beautiful cycle holds so many ...
I'll be done soon, all this packing has really worn me out. Hopefully when I close my eyes and nod off to sleep, my subconsciousness will allow me to drift away from reality and not deal with these over powering thoughts and emotions until I wake up. Better yet, I pray that I will be shown the right answers on how to deal with it all. I would like nothing more at this time than to be guided, relieved of all my worries.
